Categories
Art General God & Ponders Short Stories

Second Surrender

In a small, ambitious town in the interior of Tamil Nadu, Sankar learned to listen. His father, a government school teacher, lived a life governed by the clock and the ration card. Every morning, he adjusted his trouser clips and cycled to the school, his back straight and his eyes fixed on the road. His instructions at home were short and precise: “Close the gate,” “Switch off the fan,” “Don’t waste.” He treated the family budget like a lesson plan that could not be altered.

To his father, the world was divided by birthright. “Some people have the ledger in their blood, Sankar,” he would say while patching a puncture. “Business isn’t a skill you learn; it’s a lineage. We are people of the book and the bicycle. We don’t have that instinct.” Sankar hated that thought. It felt like a life sentence—an implication that he lacked the essential pulse required to command a room or a fortune. To escape that feeling, Sankar would often cycle for miles beyond the town limits, his legs aching as he pushed against the wind, trying to outrun the quiet, predictable life his father had mapped out for him.

This irritation followed him whenever he visited his friend Ravi’s house. Ravi’s family owned groves and transport trucks, and their home was a hub of constant movement. Youths from the neighborhood often gathered there, talking about bus routes to Chennai or tech parks in Bangalore, desperate to leave the quiet heat of the town behind. One afternoon, while Ravi’s father was counting a thick stack of bills, he looked up and saw Sankar watching. He didn’t tell him to leave; instead, he pointed a finger at the boy. “In this world, Sankar, you either study the books until you own them, or you learn exactly how money moves. Anything else is just waiting for someone to tell you what to do.” Sankar watched him snap a rubber band around the stack. There was no hesitation in the sound. Sankar decided then that he would find a system and master it, a resolve that eventually led him through the high-pressure offices of the city and, years later, into a quiet hall.

In this hall, the air is thick with the hum of a fan and the rhythmic breathing of fifty people. Sankar sits among them in a new set of white linen clothes, the fabric feeling light and crisp against his skin. On a raised platform at the front, the Teacher sits in a robe of heavy, cream-colored silk, perfectly pressed without a single wrinkle. For months, Sankar has followed every instruction perfectly. He has mastered the breathing, the posture, and the stillness. When the Teacher praises the group’s progress, Sankar feels a surge of genuine accomplishment. He feels lighter, more capable, and finally feels he has gained ground in a way his old corporate job never allowed. He believes he has finally found the “system” Ravi’s father spoke of, but one that actually brings peace.

After the session, Sankar stands by the shoe rack, adjusting his sandals. He notices a fellow meditator, a man who has been attending as long as he has, looking at a small notice on the bulletin board. “Are you thinking about the next step?” the man asks quietly. Sankar looks at the board. It mentions a retreat for those moving into advanced practice. “I feel I’ve made a lot of progress here,” Sankar says. “The silence is already so much better than the noise outside.”

The man nods, but there is a slight distance in his eyes. “It’s good, yes. But I was talking to one of the seniors yesterday. They said this level is just to settle the dust. They said the real stillness only happens in the advanced sessions. Apparently, the Teacher shares things there that he doesn’t mention here.”

Sankar stays quiet, but his mind begins to move. The warmth of his current achievement suddenly feels like a starting line. A thought slips in, unbidden: If I’ve come this far, I can’t stop now. I need to be in that deeper room. He remembers Ravi’s father talking about how “average people stop when they’re comfortable,” and the old drive to move ahead returns. To ensure he doesn’t stay in the “entry-level” of peace, Sankar signs up for the advanced course that very evening. The fee is high, and for a moment, his pen stops on the paper as he recalls the business charts and corporate voices of his past. He signs anyway, tucking the receipt into his wallet, and soon he begins to change. He speaks more softly. He waits longer to answer.

As he spends more time at the center, Sankar begins to volunteer by moving chairs and handing out water. It feels familiar, like his time at Ravi’s house, moving before being asked to match a rhythm that already exists. One evening, while helping with a ledger, he notices the rising enrollment numbers and describes it as “consistent growth.” When the volunteer mentions that more people are finding the truth, Sankar simply closes the book and says it feels “aligned.” He takes on more responsibility, eventually guiding newcomers who question the increasing fees. He tells them there is a structure and that they must experience it rather than analyze it. The man goes quiet, and Sankar realizes his answers now come without any hesitation at all, much like the voice that had commanded the room in his childhood.

This certainty becomes his new foundation. One afternoon, while arranging chairs, he notices one is slightly out of line. The sight makes him uncomfortable until he moves it back into place, restoring the perfect row. When a woman asks why he joined, he thinks of his father’s bicycle and the way Ravi’s father used to talk about “knowing the system.” He simply tells her, “It felt right.” The next morning, he is asked to lead the introductory session. Standing at the front in his white linen, he looks at the new faces and says, “Just observe.” The words are easy, though they remind him of being in a suit, asking people to trust a different system. After telling a restless young man to commit fully and not question too much—echoing the old advice that one must either master the mechanics or follow them—Sankar returns to the hall. He begins to move the chairs, ensuring every single one is in a perfectly straight line.

Categories
Art Music

Raaja Paarvai

As I write this article, I’m listening to “Yennule Yennule”, wondering how do I describe the legend’s music. Should I start with the musical technicality or more on the conveyed emotion.  Although I know, by the time I was born, Rahman had already superseded Raja with his western touch of Hip hop, Rap and brilliant sound design. It can be surprising for us, the younger listeners, to understand the complexity of Ilayaraja’s compositions, even with a western music sensibility. And how he managed to effortlessly create thousands of them. It is not at all an exaggeration to call him the Mozart, Beethoven or Bach’s counterpart in India. 

Ilayaraja composing

Solace, resurgence and hope. Can you think of any other art form which can convey all these dissonant emotions together? Well, Raja did. In the song, Nalam Vaazha Ennalum from the movie Marubadiyum, directed by Balu Mahendra. Pardon some technicality here, perception of the scale is seemingly B minor…Or wait..is it? Music now taunts you with some D major(relative major) and even G major. Now you are clueless because it makes perfect sense to ears.  It conveys the mess the protagonist finds herself in. His music is as closest as we can get to ourselves. We are all those, complex, dissonant and paradoxically simple 🙂

I do see one reason Ilayaraja’s music doesn’t reach across to younger listeners as much as we’d like it to. The videos. Every time I tell someone to look a song up, they’ll go to YouTube, and end up watching terrible film footage of a couple in eye-blinding clothes executing weird dance steps. Once you’ve seen those images, it’s hard to take the song seriously. 

Another hurdle could be the sound design. Sounding seems fine for the speakers of 1970-80’s cinema theatres and halls. But with today’s headphones and post-Rahman-era, one can see that Ilayaraja’s sound engineers let him down on several occasions. I sometimes wish someone — perhaps Ilayaraja himself — would remove the rough edges from his songs and re-record them to make, say, the trumpets sound less strident, the tabla less metallic, and bring some high-low balance between instruments so that they don’t all sound like they’re crouched in the same decibel range.

 

With this post, I’m sharing my closer to the heart songs and compositions of Ilayaraja. Here is the Youtube playlist.

 

Categories
Art General

Man up..Tamil Cinema!

A beautiful girl walks the street, you look at her,  and you instantly “fall” in love with her. As some might call it, love at first sight. Now, what do you do next is the real question here.

If you were a normal guy from a decent background, you would go up to her and confess your love respectfully and in a dignified way and walk away from her if she says NO, and if you weren’t and your Instagram bio reads “cinema paithiyam” or “xyz veriyan””, then you’re going to probably do everything within your reach to “make” her fall in love with you. I dedicate this post to you, my friend. You think I’m typifying you? You’re thinking who is this guy blogging from some corner of the world? What does he know about love?

I’ll let you in on a little secret, I know you a little too well than you think I do! You’re in for a ride. First off, you are a movie freak and an ambassador of Hero Worship. You take movies way too seriously in life and you manipulate yourself into believing that incidents in your life are also loosely based on cinema. You listen to a lot of “Senjitaley” and strongly feel that “tholla pani alyaama theriyaama kedaikura kaadhaley venam venam”.  Well, definitely you have a Facebook account (psst) where you add strangers and send them inappropriate messages until they have no choice but to reply. You’re a non-believer of this lame concept of “consent” that everybody seems to be talking about. Your idea of love is a type of conquest and if you loose, your fragile ego is going to be oh so butthurt. Poor thing!  Portrayal of unrealistic women characters who do give a nod after continuous harassment and stalking has etched into your subconscious memory and asserted your insecurities with ” Yenna maari pasangala paaka paaka dhan pudikum”. I worry you will die single, if you don’t do these stunts. Hello, nice to meet you. Aforementioned actor has also confessed his bad dialogue/movie selection, he has also told he won’t do any more. But he failed to tell you that.

I wouldn’t blame the entire Tamil cinema.  In fact, we do have great personalities like  Ajith, AR Rahman, Maniratnam, Vikram, Suriya, Selvaraghavan who have gone on public record to say how badly Tamil cinema is taking shape these days and how fans need to be educated. Actor Ajith had gone to an extent wherein a scene in Vedalam he advices “Ponungala Vaazha vidunga” to a guy following his sister.

The intention of this post is to not to reprimand you, our Tamil Cinema movie makers, or anything, it is just to tell that these directors and actors are just playing their role in the movies. Their motivation is to make money and cinema is business. It is not a story with moral,  and cinema isn’t meant to teach what’s right and what’s wrong, your upbringing should. So the point is my friend when a girl doesn’t comply with you, kids cry, adults pursue, and legends respect her emotion and walk away.

Have a great day. Peace.